Thursday, April 28, 2011

Breaker breaker one nine mayday

Slowly, intentionally, moving only one muscle at a time I gently transition Rambo who is sleeping in my arms to his crib. Exhaling ever so slowly and quietly I remove my last point of contact from his body. It doesn't work. He is instantly aware of the change and sleep eludes both of us yet again.

Here we are... again. I had hoped to steer clear of this place after my last child, but I guess it's inevitable. The great conundrum: move it or lose it vs. slow and steady. How do you transition from holding your sleeping baby to lying them in their crib still sleeping? The answer: you don't. I've tried both methods and neither work so I'm not quite sure why I keep doing this to myself. But without fail every time I try one of these in hopes it will be THE time. This is the time the transition will go smoothly, baby will be none the wiser, and there will be much rejoicing. No such luck. Yet we all keep trying like fools. I weigh the options, consider his mood and go for it. And fail. 

And, of course, then I find myself where I am right now. It's 3 in the afternoon and he has been asleep almost all day. Have I been sleeping? No, why would I do that? That would be the wise choice. Instead, I choose the path of most resistance and catch up on laundry, make meals, write a blog.... When will I learn? I'm thinking never if I haven't learned it yet. 

Tonight when it's midnight and you are going to bed I'll just be preparing for my day to begin. I know I'm doing it to myself - I'm not asking for pity. Okay, yes I am. You'll be sleeping soundly and I'll be cursing the night. I'll say it again - such is life. Indeed!  

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