Why, you ask. What is she the winner of? She, my friends, holds first place for dumbest question we've been asked thus far.
Because of Rambo's unknown genetic disorder and possibly some of the medicines used in the hospital, he could potentially be at risk for hearing loss. Again, nobody really has any idea what is going on, so we are just covering all the bases. Seeing an audiologist to assess him was the next step.
They did initially say that it was best for the baby to be sleeping for these tests because it has to be as quiet as possible. Understood. But I'd like to meet the person who can get a child to sleep on command. If you know one, please pass along the number. We did, however, manage to get Rambo there asleep. Of course in the midst of getting him inside the building with all his equipment and then the fact that she is STICKING STUFF IN HIS EAR.... Well, I'm sure you can imagine that he didn't stay that way. Thus leading us to the prize winning question. After many assurances that what she is doing doesn't hurt it's just uncomfortable and that most babies (not this one) stay asleep during these assessments, we finally get Rambo calmed down. She decides to try again, but before doing so looks at me and asks if quote 'he can breathe any quieter.' To which I answer by looking her square in the face and passionately declaring "You can't handle the truth!!" Okay, no I didn't. It was more of a flat look and reply of "Uh....no."
I suppose she probably doesn't see too many children with all these issues, trach included. But really? Did she expect me to reach over and turn the 'silent' option on? Needless to say, the appointment was a total waste of time.
So that, ladies and gentlemen, is the question with the blue ribbon for now. I eagerly anticipate the one that will take it's place.
And so does he, as you can tell by the sly little smile on his face. :)