Sunday, October 30, 2011


It's 12:16am and I'm definitely starting to wonder where the nurse is.... I mean, getting home from the hospital yesterday only to find out that the nurse is unable to come in on a night she is scheduled to work every week is bad enough..... but really... two nights in a row??? When I have an electric blanket waiting for me upstairs?? Please don't let this be so!!

12:21am and she just pulled in. Thank God!!!!

Good night all.... 

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Episode 2

(Only a day late....)

Things I Don't Understand: Episode 2. Fall Edition

  • Shorts with tights

  • Snow in October (like when you're not in the extreme north or south)
  • Small children dressed in freakishly scarey costumes. (Sparing you a picture on that one.)

This post was brought to you in part by

Thursday, October 27, 2011

New series

I have decided to start a new series. I don't know how often I'll add a new 'episode' but as they come to me you can rest assured that I will. Please feel free to add anything you come up with as well. Without further ado - 

Things I Don't Understand. Episode 1.

  • Mother's who rave over the boys in Twilight
  • The whole space/time continuum stuff
  • Water chestnuts
  • Tattoos on your calf
  • Babies who don't go to sleep when they are tired

This post was brought to you by

The thing about being a stay at home mom is...

I've been thinking.
"Uh oh," you say.
Just here me out on this one. 

I think I've finally decided that I like being a stay at home mom. You're thinking, "It only took you 7 years to decide that?" Well, yes... and no. Because there are days where I would do ANYTHING to get out of the house. I seriously mean anything. Forget homeschooling, leave Rambo behind, stay as far away from laundry as possible, no worries about cat puke, no floors to sweep, no bills to pay, no meals to make just run Run RUN!

Okay, after writing all that I'm now thinking that kind of sounds ideal.....

What was I saying before??? Oh right... the whole 'I like being a stay at home mom' thing......

So, as I was saying, I have decided I like my role as a stay at home mom. Here are the reasons why (as I now have to convince myself all over again)
Who really wants to get up, get dressed and be ready for work at 8am? And for some nurses and police officers and the like it's more like 7am for a 12 hour shift. You have to be awake and on top of your game. I don't know about you guys but I am still in my pajamas until at least 9:30. And I'm not going to lie, some days I don't ever really get out of them. Then, most people who work have to deal with other people. Ugh. 

That was what I was thinking as I was in the kitchen sipping my coffee this morning at 9:20 watching the world go by. Of course, once I get home again I'm sure I'll have this entire argument in my head daily, but at least for now I'm thankful. 

Also, for those of you who couldn't sleep for the thought that I missed the most important scene in the movie 'Soul Surfer', you can rest now. I caught it just a few minutes ago.... kind of anticlimactic..... 

Little man says 'who wouldn't want to stay at home with this?'

Also.... ssshhhh.... he had a good day yesterday and today so the thought is home tomorrow. Woot.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

On top of the World

I feel victorious! 

It's not because there was a helicopter with a search light right outside my window last night circling the area because they were looking for someone. Victorious wouldn't be the right word for that. Maybe...... concerned.

It's not because I finally caught the movie 'Soul Surfer' from the beginning and right at the climax (which sneaks up on you, by the way, because there are A LOT of surfing scenes in that movie) some random lady comes over to talk to me for 1.5 minutes and I MISS THE SHARK ATTACK. In case you didn't know - that's the whole point of the movie. Victorious wouldn't be the right word for this either. Defeated is more like it. And I'm pretty sure the words, "Are you freaking kidding me???" slipped in there as well.

It's not because the family in the room next to me has a child that wakes up at 7:47am every morning screaming at the top of his lungs. 

And it's definitely not because I had the most lack lustre ziti I've ever had for dinner tonight. 

It is, however, almost, because I found $6 in my back pocket and know that I can get one medium coffee from Einstein Bagel at $1.79 each for the next 3 mornings. Yay me!

No, the real reason I feel victorious is because *drum role please* I won on ebay!!! I have never bid on ebay before and I actually won! I feel like I could do anything right now. I am invincible! Okay, that's taking it a little far...... maybe. Now, I'm no ebay expert but I'm pretty sure it's been around longer than my children have been alive.... and I've never used it before.... this may be one of the saddest things I've ever sad. Nevertheless, I bid on the item with 2 hours left and I kept checking and checking every few minutes to make sure I wasn't going to get sniped by the one other bidder (Yeah, you know its a good item when only two people in the entire world are bidding on it.) I admit that I was a little obsessed for those two hours. But I will have one happy son on Christmas morning :)

Change of topic: The other day I said I felt as though we would be home mid-week. *Hanging my head in shame and disappointment and quietly whispering with rejection* "I was wrong." (That hurts.) I quickly fall from my ebay induced victory high to weeping and gnashing of teeth. Rambo has again seen fit to throw a wrench in the works. We had him almost down to base line oxygen yesterday when he started working hard again. His 'sats' were sitting low and wouldn't go up. He looked very flush and his lips were a dark red/blue color. Today, his 'sats' never went above 94 (he should be 95-100) and were even dipping down to mid 80's. So up his oxygen goes again. The xray from yesterday looked better than it did before so we aren't really sure what is causing this. Big surprise. Thankfully he has no fever and seems to be feeling well on a whole. The doctors saw fit to cancel his echo and there's not really anything I can do about that. If he continues on the path he was on today or his oxygen requirements increase more they will run labs AGAIN and do another xray. Poor guy has been stuck and prodded more than I care to think about. Thank you, God, that he just keeps smiling. 

I'm off to see what other treasures I can find online. Here's to many more ebay victories in the future!!    

Monday, October 24, 2011

The name of the game

In the words of Gwen Stefani "Whatchu waitin', watchu waitin', watchu waiting foooor?"

Answer: The doctors. What else would we be waiting for? Apparently the waiting game is fun. I have to assume that's the reason for all of the sitting and waiting anyway. And I'm sure it probably is fun for those we lie in wait of. For the person doing the waiting, however.... not so much. 

Here's the way it plays out to us, the aforementioned helpless wait-ers:

Secnario 1

Wait-er: *wakes up early* I better hurry and get to the hospital. I know the team rounds early on weekdays and I don't want to miss them because they may not come back for the rest of the day and I could possibly go all day without seeing a single doctor if I miss the rounding. I'll get my coffee and breakfast after I see them.

Those we lie in wait of: *drinking coffee, reading charts, 'discussing patients', drinking coffee*

An hour passes 

Wait-er: I'm really glad I didn't miss the doctors this morning. They should be coming around soon.

Those we lie in wait of: to other colleagues 'Did you see the game last night?'

Another hour passes. Wait-er is getting increasingly hungry.

Nurse to wait-er: 'The doctors are just around the corner. They should be here soon.'

Wait-er to nurse: "Okay, we'll wait to get some coffee and food so we don't miss them."

Those we lie in wait of enter the room. Wait-er's hopes arise.

Another hour passes. Wait-er's stomach growls loudly and patience is wearing thin.

Wait-er: *thinks that I could have stayed in bed an extra hour instead of rushing over here.*

Wait-er sees the doctors on the other side of the room.

Time passes......

Nurse: "I'm really sorry. I don't know what's taking them so long.

Wait-er: *holds their tongue so they don't say anything mean*

Those we lie in wait of casually exit the room.

Wait-er: to himself "Where the .... are they going????"

Another hour passes

Those we lie in wait of reenter the room and walk your way.

Those we lie in wait of: to wait-er "Sorry about that. So, not much has changed. We'll see what tomorrow holds."

Wait-er: *has, at this point, passed out from starvation and is lying face down on the dirty floor.*

Those we lie in wait of fail to even recognize there is lack of response and exit the room to keep more wait-ers waiting.

Scenario 2

Wait-er: The team hasn't been rounding any earlier than noon this whole week. Considering it's the same team today I'll go ahead and make myself some breakfast so I don't have to wait on them. *eats breakfast and still gets to the hospital by 9:30am*

Nurse: to wait-er: "You just missed the team."

Wait-er: *curses the entire hospital as a whole* Then to nurse "Could you page them so we can talk to them?"

Nurse: "Oh sure! No problem." *pages doctors* To wait-er: "They know you're here so I'll let you know when they are coming."

Hours pass and still no sign of those we lie in wait of.

Wait-er: to nurse "It would appear they aren't coming."

Nurse: to wait-er "Yup. It sure looks that way."

Disclaimer: Based on a true story. Some names have been changed to protect those involved. No 'those we lie in wait of' were harmed in the telling of this story. Nobody really cares about the 'wait-er' so they may or may not have been harmed. 

Thus concludes the waiting game. Doesn't it sound like fun??? It must be because they play it every single day. Hence me sitting here at 12:30 without having had breakfast or lunch because the doctors are right around the corner and I don't want to miss them. It'd be nice if I could opt out of the game. However, as mentioned in the disclaimer, no one cares about the person waiting so we are involuntary pawns in their game of power and authority. 

Okay, okay... maybe that's a little bit drastic. I'll let you know if I feel any differently after I've had something to eat. Which may be dinner at the rate things are going. 

Sunday, October 23, 2011

To do list.

  • get out of the hospital
Okay... that's a given. Here is the to do list of things that need to happen so we CAN get out.

  • say it with me - get oxygen back down to normal. This we are working on. He was up to 40% for part of the night but is now down to 30% and doing well.
  • echocardiogram tomorrow
  • chest xray tomorrow
(Both of the above have to look good, obviously. We can't just have them done and then go home if they look any worse. So maybe I should say 'good results on the echo and xray.')
  • change medications over to Gtube intsead of IV and make sure he tolerates them well
  • overall progress in health
The doctor today said that this is a slow supportive role they are playing; making sure he is completely over it this time. With his already weak vulnerable airways they need to be sure this has moved out so that we are not back here in another week in another bad or possibly worse position. So as far as a timeline goes - there isn't one. I don't forsee us being here longer than midweek but lets just pretend I never said anything and see how it goes. However, if we do get out of here in a few days, then just note that I was right. Just like I was right about coffee costing .50 cents up here..... BEN.

On a different note: It feels very strange to see other people (patients, not nurses or doctors) that you know from being here before, who are back again as well. They are like extended family that you haven't seen in a while. But instead of it just being good to see them, it's also sad knowing you are both in the same place... still. Its sort of a comforting depression... but not so much in a depressed way more in a comfort that's depressing. Makes total sense. I now see this is a failed effort in trying to describe this so I think i'm going to abandon ship on this one. If you have ever experienced it on some level than you know what I mean. If not then you may think I'm a crazy person, but I've already admitted to that in prior posts so no big surprise. 

Rambo is fighting sleep and I suppose as his mother I'm responsible for helping him give in...  I suppose...



Saturday, October 22, 2011

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

I finally figured out why Rambo made us come back here.

Yup. Apparently he hadn't quite figured out Cat's Cradle and just HAD to get it right. Well done, son. Well done. Next time just let me in on it first and I'll hand you some yarn or something. Spare us the trip to two ER's, half a days time, and a weekend in Baltimore. 

Oy vey, Theodore.

It appears the common cold is Theodore's kryptonite.The theory is that his lungs, although better, never fully recovered and the right one 'clogged' again. Thus, the heavy breathing and increased oxygen requirement ensued. He can deal with all sorts of viruses that are 'worse' but hand him an ordinary cold and his body shuts down. Does this mean he is extra-ordinary? I think difficult is more appropriate. 

What does this mean for us? Lots and lots of hand washing and time at home. So basically, nothing is different.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Second in two.

It's official. Shine your shoes and load your pistols: we are back at Hopkins for the second time in exactly two weeks, for the same exact reason. Joy of joys. 

We just missed the pulmonary doctors this morning so we are waiting to speak with them. He started breathing heavily yesterday morning and was acting miserably. Again, we were told to take him to the local hospital where he would then most likely be transported to Hopkins. He was actually doing much better by the time we got there, however, his xray showed something going on in his lungs. No one is really sure what caused it to get worse, or what is making this time around so difficult to get over. 

Nothing new.

When Rambo was born there was always a question in the back of my mind whether or not he would see his first birthday. I'm starting to think he's testing me to see if I'll let him live until then!! This boy is high maintenance. 

But, hey, as Ben would say "There's nothing like the smell of diesel and crime." Maybe being in Baltimore isn't that bad.....

Monday, October 17, 2011

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Firstly I would like to give shout outs to my girl Sarah for the lovely new header for this blog. Amazing! She has both the intelligence and skill, which I know nothing of, to create it. And somehow, even being the mom of 3 under 3 she found the time to do it. Thank you, Sarah!! You can check her and her life out here if you wish. :)

Secondly, my mom is having back surgery tomorrow morning so I would appreciate a little prayer for her :)

Little man celebrated his 10 month birthday 2 days ago. And by 'celebrate' I mean did pretty much what he does every day: tries to take over the world. He is still capturing my heart with every smile - little stinker. (On a side note, Ben WISHES he held that power. Too bad! Ben, please refrain from commenting: I already know where you would go with this.) Rambo is getting very strong on his belly and if that tube weren't in his way he would be rolling over all the time. He is still really junky and most days I feel like every time I turn around he needs suctioning. This too shall pass. ..... Right???!?? His sleep study is coming up this weekend. Woot! "What is that?" you say. The answer to all our questions... or that's what they say. But we know how that goes. This is supposed to tell us why he needs the oxygen at night - does he stop breathing, is he breathing too shallowly, etcetera etcetera. How is this going to help us get him off the oxygen during the day? That is a good question. I have no idea. But, apparently, this is the first step. Apprehensively I say that I suppose I'll take their word on it. 

All of the kids now have their halloween costumes. They are going to be the cutest village people you've ever seen! Just kidding.... they're going as the cast from Twilight.

Because I know you care about my eating habits - the sweet tea and delivery pizza were amazing. Thank you McD's and Pizza Empire.

I could go on, but let's face it, it's going to get boring. Thanks for staying tuned to another episode of "Amanda has no idea what she's going on and on about." They'll be more episodes - I'm certain of it.

Friday, October 14, 2011


It appears I momentarily forgot who this blog was about. I'll give you a hint: it's not me. So, I shall return to the subject at hand:Rambo.

Good news: His weaning process is complete! He is now off the methadone and clonidine!!! Two less medicines to give him. 

Currently his antibiotic is making him poop A LOT. I could literally change a dirty diaper every ten minutes. Not that you care, but it's out there non-the-less.

He is so active!!! He is passing toys from one hand to another, reaching for all sorts of things, entertaining himself. Happy happy joy joy. He also lays on his back and arches it so the only things touching the ground are his head and butt. He can scoot himself up while laying on his back, therefore the bumper on his crib has become very handy. 

He's got this new thing with blankets where he likes to hold onto them while he puts himself to sleep. It's the cutest thing ever. 

I told you it was cute. He pulls the blanket up to his face and it just makes you go, "Awwwwww."

Also, note the bottom picture. Who has forearm wrinkles? That is the weirdest thing.

My sweet little chunk.

Aaaaaaaand cue reality

I don't know what my problem is. Ever since we got to the hospital all I've wanted was to be home. I hate being away from my family. I hate living in a hospital. 

But now that I'm here.......

I'm not sure if I build up in my mind how wonderful it will be to see the kids and husband again. Or if I forget about all the normal everday ridiculousness and responsibilities there are. Or maybe I was away just long enough to get used to life that way and now it all gets changed again. I don't know what it is. All I know is that I haven't even been home 24 hours and I'm already FRUSTRATED. 

The word that has described my feelings in general since we pulled in the driveway: chaos. Maybe it's because it is slightly chaotic to get Theodore all set up once we get home. Maybe it's because the kids want to tell me and show me everything they've done since I've been gone as soon as I walk in the door. Maybe it's because, even though my house was practically spotless (including the kids rooms - Thank you Sarah and Ashley!!!) when I got home, I still couldn't find any clean forks. Maybe it's because Emma takes forever and a freaking day to tell you one thing. Fruit flies have invaded our kitchen. We are out of trash bags. And my tooth is killing me! Even my poor husband isn't safe - and he's at work! In an effort to help me 'get control', for lack of a better phrase, he offers up simple good advice. What do I hear? "Well, I was able to keep the kids and house in order while you were gone." 

I am a crazy person. 

I no longer try to avoid that fact. God bless Ben when I'm menopausal because I will be out of control. 


Maybe I just need to take a little longer to adjust. Give myself, I don't know, an entire day to get back to normal. Let myself be a little crazy - today, only today. Accept the fact that I'm out of whack for now, take a deep breath and stop. Stop cleaning, organizing, yelling, working. Embrace the fact that I'm home and Theodore is well. Be thankful I am with my family and that I'm not completely off my rocker.... yet.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

It's official.

Some people are weird. Or maybe not weird, but.... unique. I mean that in the most loving way. And I'm sure that there are some who would put me in that category. I accept this. But it just makes me laugh sometimes at things people say. 

I'll give you my most recent experience. For two days Rambo was getting respiratory treatments every two hours. There was an RT who absolutely fell in love with him. She had the best time holding him and playing with him. She doesn't have kids - she has cats. Lots and lots of cats. She actually rescues them, nurses them to health, and then finds homes for them... some of them. Noble cause. Good for her. And it may not have been WHAT she said as much as HOW she said it - with such dedication and reckless abandon. She has a certain cat who is an apnic monitor. Really. He can sense when someone has stopped breathing for a minute and will hit them so they start again. Now, cats ARE interesting creatures. I'll give them that. Capable of all sorts of things - like getting into plastic bags and not being able to find their way out. But all I have been able to imagine is this cat flying across an entire room to paw at somebody who held their breath for a minute because he sensed it. True? You decide for yourself. For my part, I think the cat stole the persons breath in the first place.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I'm an idiot.

Please, don't everyone jump in at once and try to stop me from saying that....

Anyway, for those who didn't already know or suspect.... I think it might be true. Ben is probably recounting all those times I said something before I really thought it out (oh.. thaaaaat's why they call it an island...) But, on a whole, I have tried to stand firm on the fact that I am not an idiot.

It may have all been for naught.

I have done my very best to avoid saying anything about the word 'home' or 'going home' or 'doing well' or any variation thereof in front of Rambo, let alone TO him. I even spoke in pig latin, people. Okay, that's how serious I was. You would have to be an idiot to do that after all we've been through. "Ahhhhhhh," you're saying to yourself, "I see where she's going with this."


I find myself talking to Theodore about how we can't wait to get home, and how I know he's excited. I was even giving him instructions on how to behave himself tonight so the plans don't change. I was giving him instructions! Instructions! What is wrong with me?!?!? Why didn't anyone stop me?!?!?

I don't know where I went wrong.

I guess I just got careless. That's what happens when you get careless. You get stupid. You get stupid and you find yourself staying longer in the hospital. I can only blame myself if something happens and we can't go home. It's no one's fault but mine. Not even Rambo's.

Before I leave to go scold myself I give you the words of a very wise ChiChi's waiter, "Be currful. It's hot." Words to live by if you ask me.


Don't read this

Seriously, I can guarantee it will be a waste of your time. It's purely an unorganized mass of random thoughts I've had today. There must be SOMETHING you can do that's better than this. ANYTHING. If not, then you must be in the same place I am: bored out of your ever loving mind.

Rambo is finally sleeping in his crib. He had a slightly miserable morning and looked so pitiful. He is working on getting all that stuff out of his lungs and it is wearing him out. But now that he is fast asleep I find that I have nothing to do. This is a good thing. Also, his xray looked better this morning and the tentative idea (I no longer use the word 'plan'. It's pointless.) is to go home tomorrow. Hold your excitement. Lets see if it actually happens first.

Let's begin:

I love hot peppers on my sub from subway but they must penetrate my pores because I feel like I walk around smelling like one big pepper. This still doesn't stop me from getting them.

How do you spell the name Jabree? Jubree? Gebrea? Jibree?

I hope the kids can keep their rooms clean.

Although it's semi-pointless it would still be nice to know how to whistle.

Somebody better get me an hour long massage.

I wonder if I should delete the 'label' section in my blog sidebar. Who really uses it? And I don't like the way it's set up anyway.

"Quit the drama, stay with mama. MOOOTTHHHHERRRR knows best!"

The thought of my quickly coming birthday hasnt' upset me yet. Is this because I haven't thought about it much or because I am truly accepting the fact that I'm going to be 18?........

Bangs or no bangs? This is the question.

I wish Theodores humidity tube would stop gurgling and popping.

Whoever thought of Brush Ups (the on-the-go toothbrush) was really thinking. 

I have SO many Christmas presents to buy.

I hope my mom is doing well today.

That stinks. I came in at the middle of the movie 'Soul Surfer.'

I really should have brought a different pair of flip flops with me. 

Whatever happened to that fudge mom mom made me?

I've gotten a shower the past two days in a row- that never happens.

I wonder if I actually do have any ninja skills I could use if someone tried to attack me here in Baltimore.

All pillows in any hotel suck.

I'm considering not using contractions like they do in True Grit. Yeah, you're right, too much work. 

If you've made it this far I'm not sure whether I appreciate it or whether I feel sorry for you. Either way, luckily for you, Rambo just woke up and is demanding some attention.

Have a lovely day, and for the love, find something to do.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

This is what you get...

...when you stick me in a room by myself with no tv for too long - CHANGES!!! 

I have been thinking that it was time for some changes on my dear blog. If you know anything about me, or more specifically my hair color(s), you know that I can't keep anything the same for long. That being said, generally the changes are for the better. For those of you who know me really well, please note that I am not necessarily talking about the fire engine red stage - this is why I said "generally".

I wanted the blog picture to accurately depict our journey. Thankfully, he is no longer all strapped, tied, tubed up. We've moved on from there. So I tried to go with something appropriate, but also something that pulled at your heartstrings so you just couldn't resist reading my most recent ramblings. :)

Now, if you're anything like me, even if you like change at times you can still be resistent to it. So please take a moment to look at this with a fresh pair of eyes and an open mindset. And then if you will be so kind as to answer the poll at the bottom right hand side of the page (under 'labels'). Also feel free to leave a comment on this post about what you like/dislike now. Because believe it or not, I might actually care what you think. ;) Unless you disagree with me and then you're just wrong. 

Dare I say it?

No. I don't dare. 

But I'll give it to you like this: He's ooking -lay etter-bay oday-tay an-thay esterday-yay.
Maybe he won't catch on. 

It appears the IV antibiotics and steroids are what he needed. And he is looking ell-way.

Don't do it! Don't feel sorry for him. That's what he wants you to do with that sweet sad pitiful look on his face. Resist!

Okay, even I can't fight this one. He's so coot! Poor wittle baby in da big ol' mean hospidal.

Enough of that.

He gets an xray tomorrow - hopefully we'll see ogress-pray. His oxygen when he is sleeping was weaned to 40% and he has done ell-way so far. He seems appier-hay. Best case scenario according to doctors is ome-hay in a ew-fay ays-day. Here's hoping, kid.

Don't discriminate. Vote pig latin.

Monday, October 10, 2011

It just keeps getting better and better

And by 'better' I mean worse. 

What else could we expect from him? 

His xray today was worse than two days ago. This is apparently his new trend. It appears the whole upper lobe of his right lung has now 'collapsed'. This, in turn, is making him work harder to breathe.

We were successful in getting another IV in -it's tenuous and position sensitive but it's there. The hope is that he will respond better to IV antibiotics than via shots in the leg. Also, if things get more serious, it's already there in case they need it.

They are changing up his steroid.

They are alternating between two different nebs every 2 hours with chest PT.

In January, I was just told, he tested slightly low for (I have no idea what the word was) but it has to do with his immunities being low.  To this I say "Duh. That might account for why he has gotten sick so many times." But what do I know? So they are going to test again and possibly give him a shot to help with that. 

There is still no sign of infection: viral or bacterial. But he is pretty well covered antibiotically that they feel it might be supressing the results. 

Usually his oxygen is at 28%. It  has not been able to be below 40% when he is awake and anywhere from 60-70% when he is asleep. Unfortunately that is not a requirement we can meet at home. Not that we can go there right now anyway.

What does all this mean?

If he is not looking better by the end of today they have two options. The first is to put him on some CPAP pressure. This basically gives extra pressure in hopes of trying to open up that lung. The second is a bronchoscopy. Which means they would go down into the lung and try to break things up. I would obviously like to avoid the latter, and even the doctor said they were loathe to mess with him in that way.  

So that's where we are. Anyone who wants to come rock a fussy baby feel free seeing as how I don't have 3 other children here willing able to help me out with that. :)

And on the up and up, I did find deoderant at the gift shop. Yay me!

6! SIX! 6! six! 6! SiX!


haPPy BiRtHdaY!!!

You are one of the loves of my life and one of my biggest joys!

You are beautiful.

You are funny.

You are burp crush.

You are getting too big!

You are smart.

You are loveable!

You are an amazing big sister.

And a great little sister.

You are hot and cold.

You are a gymnast.

You are a princess.

You are letting God work in your heart.

You make me proud every day.

You're an excellent reader.

You're an amazing daughter.

You are all girl. You are strong-willed. You are strong. You are perfect. 
You are six!
I love you, Ruth Meadows Taylor.

***You also stink like a pig :) ***

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Or so they say

No, we were wrong, things have indeed just gotten worse. 


Now the story is that we brought him in really early before the infection got bad. So early, in fact, that his cultures aren't growing anything to say that there is an infection at all. But we are treating him for infection anyway because there really isn't anything else to do.

At least they're honest..... right?

What a difference a day makes

He is currently bouncing himself all over the bed, fingers in his mouth, with a huge smile on his face. I'd say things are looking up.

I should have learned my lesson by now. I KNOW better. Never never never say how well things are going. Because it is now almost midnight and I'm lying next to him in the extend-o-chair ready for bed and he is not a happy camper. He is so tired but just not able to sleep. Therefore I am left listening to gurgles and extremely fast breathing and rustling around and just plain fussiness. No fingers in the mouth. No happy bouncing. No huge smiles. No going home.

We moved down to IMC today (Intermediate Medical Care) which is a great move. Health wise Rambo is doing well. Or, so they say. Apparently the even faster breathing and even more suctioning and even more oxygen is a good sign. He will get worse before he gets better so this is the 'worse' before the 'better'. Or so they say. The doctors said his chest xray showed either a partially collapsed lung or a pnemonia type thing (mucus buildup). So they changed up antibiotics and now he is on 2 and we are basically just riding it out. We'll see how this goes.  

**whispering: shut the baby in the background up and nobody move. I just got him to fall asleep.**

They want him to stay here for a few more days to keep an eye on him, to have his pulmonary doctor look at him. His IV, which was put in FIRST try (very impressive) by the best of the best in the PICU, only lasted until today. So he now has to get one of his antibiotics as a shot in his leg muscle. Fun times. Thankfully, it's only once a day.

We have to put off Ruthie's birthday party :( And I probably won't even be home for her actual birthday. Ben had to leave tonight so he can go back to work. And I'm left with the beepings of, not only Rambo's, but about 4 other babies machines to sleep through. On the bright side, there IS a place for me to sleep - no more hotel rooms and definitely no more Swagger.  

Now, before he wakes up, I'm going to get my butt into bed and get as much sleep as I can.

Friday, October 7, 2011

So, PICU, we meet again....

Well, we're back. Third times a charm.... I guess. Little man got his wishes as we find ourselves back at Hopkins. This time it was via an ambulance ride so.... there's that...I'll start at the end by saying that he is doing fine now. Happy as a stinking little clam surrounded by all the nurses and doctors who love him so. 

I started noticing him needing to work to breathe a little on Wednesday afternoon. So, of course, I did all the normal things we do when that happens - nebs, chest PT, increasing oxygen. He leveled off, except for the oxygen increase and was doing well for the rest of the evening. Then shortly after 11pm he started having really labored breathing. Even when he was at rest his heart rate was up and his oxygen saturation was down. You could watch his whole body go up and down with each breath and he was breathing faster and faster as time went on. 

Our nurse kept a close eye on him all night and we went to bed knowing we would most likely be woken up to take him to the hospital. Thankfully we got a full nights sleep but the nurse said he wasn't doing well. He was looking extremely mottled and uncomfortable and he did not sleep most of the night. 

Pediatricians ------> local hospital -----> Hopkins ER ------> PICU.

We were greeted by a lot of "Rambo's back!!", "Hey, guys! Good to see you!", "He is huge!" Even the paramedic who came to transport him knew who he was. It's good to be remembered.  :) 

Today we were able to turn his oxygen down some and tonight we are going to try to turn it down more. He is looking great and I am looking forward to a good nights sleep in a hotel. Last night we were stuck with the van, and although it is the Swagger Wagon, I do not recommend it as a bed. It was definitely one of the worst nights sleep of my life. 

He is currently bouncing himself all over the bed, fingers in his mouth, with a huge smile on his face. I'd say things are looking up. I hope to go home tomorrow. 

Fun in the PICU VOL 3

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Takes the Cake

That was the second dirtiest diaper I've ever changed. Ever. I'll spare you the details, don't worry. But I'm going to let you in onto why I sit here baffled and why this change, out of all 4 children, takes the cake as worst diaper change ever. 

It starts out the same as always. Normal day. Normal time for diaper change. But as I'm getting the wipes and new diaper ready I start pondering why every time I change Rambo's diaper I say the movie line "Korben! Korben, my man! We all gonna die." Not sure when this started, or why, but it comes out every.single.time. I have at least graduated from saying "Are you tinky??"  I admit, that was a low point in my life. When you literally can not make yourself say 'stinky' because it always comes out 'tinky' you know you have crossed over into "Momland" with little hope of ever returning. I'm proud to say that is no longer the case. 

I can't officially say that I ever reached a conclusion as to why I now say that movie line during diaper changes. But I will say that it seemed most appropriate this time. I said I'd spare you the details and I'll stick to that. The reason for my being baffled? I can't figure out how in the world this diaper was so messy it covered one of his entire arms and even got on my foot, yet his pants managed to stay 100% completely clean. Go figure. 


Sunday, October 2, 2011

I mean, honestly???

How does he expect me to stay mad at him when he looks like this??