Monday, October 24, 2011

The name of the game

In the words of Gwen Stefani "Whatchu waitin', watchu waitin', watchu waiting foooor?"

Answer: The doctors. What else would we be waiting for? Apparently the waiting game is fun. I have to assume that's the reason for all of the sitting and waiting anyway. And I'm sure it probably is fun for those we lie in wait of. For the person doing the waiting, however.... not so much. 

Here's the way it plays out to us, the aforementioned helpless wait-ers:

Secnario 1

Wait-er: *wakes up early* I better hurry and get to the hospital. I know the team rounds early on weekdays and I don't want to miss them because they may not come back for the rest of the day and I could possibly go all day without seeing a single doctor if I miss the rounding. I'll get my coffee and breakfast after I see them.

Those we lie in wait of: *drinking coffee, reading charts, 'discussing patients', drinking coffee*

An hour passes 

Wait-er: I'm really glad I didn't miss the doctors this morning. They should be coming around soon.

Those we lie in wait of: to other colleagues 'Did you see the game last night?'

Another hour passes. Wait-er is getting increasingly hungry.

Nurse to wait-er: 'The doctors are just around the corner. They should be here soon.'

Wait-er to nurse: "Okay, we'll wait to get some coffee and food so we don't miss them."

Those we lie in wait of enter the room. Wait-er's hopes arise.

Another hour passes. Wait-er's stomach growls loudly and patience is wearing thin.

Wait-er: *thinks that I could have stayed in bed an extra hour instead of rushing over here.*

Wait-er sees the doctors on the other side of the room.

Time passes......

Nurse: "I'm really sorry. I don't know what's taking them so long.

Wait-er: *holds their tongue so they don't say anything mean*

Those we lie in wait of casually exit the room.

Wait-er: to himself "Where the .... are they going????"

Another hour passes

Those we lie in wait of reenter the room and walk your way.

Those we lie in wait of: to wait-er "Sorry about that. So, not much has changed. We'll see what tomorrow holds."

Wait-er: *has, at this point, passed out from starvation and is lying face down on the dirty floor.*

Those we lie in wait of fail to even recognize there is lack of response and exit the room to keep more wait-ers waiting.

Scenario 2

Wait-er: The team hasn't been rounding any earlier than noon this whole week. Considering it's the same team today I'll go ahead and make myself some breakfast so I don't have to wait on them. *eats breakfast and still gets to the hospital by 9:30am*

Nurse: to wait-er: "You just missed the team."

Wait-er: *curses the entire hospital as a whole* Then to nurse "Could you page them so we can talk to them?"

Nurse: "Oh sure! No problem." *pages doctors* To wait-er: "They know you're here so I'll let you know when they are coming."

Hours pass and still no sign of those we lie in wait of.

Wait-er: to nurse "It would appear they aren't coming."

Nurse: to wait-er "Yup. It sure looks that way."

Disclaimer: Based on a true story. Some names have been changed to protect those involved. No 'those we lie in wait of' were harmed in the telling of this story. Nobody really cares about the 'wait-er' so they may or may not have been harmed. 

Thus concludes the waiting game. Doesn't it sound like fun??? It must be because they play it every single day. Hence me sitting here at 12:30 without having had breakfast or lunch because the doctors are right around the corner and I don't want to miss them. It'd be nice if I could opt out of the game. However, as mentioned in the disclaimer, no one cares about the person waiting so we are involuntary pawns in their game of power and authority. 

Okay, okay... maybe that's a little bit drastic. I'll let you know if I feel any differently after I've had something to eat. Which may be dinner at the rate things are going. 

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