Oh! The incessant beeping!! I can't take it anymore, I tell you. I can't take it!
Sometimes I think maybe, just maybe, to have a slight case of hearing loss wouldn't be a bad thing. I'm not talking full out deafness, just a little hearing impaired. My world could truly be a better place. There'd be a lot less to bother me, that's for sure. No more "Mom. Mom. Mom? Mom. Mommy. Mom." quietly in my ear because I just sat down after telling the kids I was going to be on the phone; yet they decide that's the perfect moment for asking about playing a game on the phone... that I'm talking on. And I suppose whispering it over and over and over again makes it less disobedient. Or less annoying. Or possible.
I could literally miss out on THOUSANDS of "mom's" a day. And I'm not talking about the sweet little "Mom. Mom? I love you." 's. But the thousands of times that it really honestly doesn't matter. Case and point: "Mom. Hey, mom. Oh. I forgot." or "Mom. Mommy? Uh.. nevermind you just answered me." Every mom has wished at least once that they couldn't hear. At least once. And if you haven't then you're lying. Or you're stupid.
Being hearing impaired would also, most importantly stop me from hearing the beeping of Theodore's machine. Sure, beeping is good for some stuff - like when I leave the refrigerator door open, or when *heavenly hosts singing* my coffee is ready. But Rambo has really REALLY tainted my view on beeps. It's just never ending.
I'm already seeing impaired. If I don't have my glasses on I wouldn't know who you were if you were standing 5 feet away from me. And if I'm more than 15 inches away from a computer screen I am screwed. What's one more thing? Unless the hearing impairment came with a ringing. Ringing is by far worse than beeping. Not sure that it's worse than the "mom" thing, but.....
Okay, I think at this point my sister in law would tell me that I'm talking to myself again. She'd be correct. I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this. And if you are you're probably thinking "What kind of a person wishes they couldn't hear???" Me. That's your answer. I am the kind of person that wishes I needed a hearing aid just so I could turn it off.