Tuesday, February 28, 2012


We've discussed Emma before. (She's a pretty cute one.) So I thought I would share her most recent lullaby to Rambo. Just imagine the following in a fully convicted, monotone tune. Ladies and gentlemen, the first ever documented Emma speak lullaby. 

You're the best baby in the whole entired world.
You're the best baby in the whole entired world.
You're the best baby in the whole entired world.
You're the best baby in the whole entired world.
God is the strongest God.
He's the best daddy.
He's the kingdom of the dad.
He is the strongest.
Daddy is still strong but not as strong as God.
When you pray He will hear you.
And if you shout He will definitely hear you.
You're the best baby in the whole entired world.
You're the best baby in the whole entired world.
(repeat x1000)

Yes, I purposefully spelled 'entired' that way. It was not an oversight. It also makes her that much more endearing. I just love watching her squint her eyes and really believe and get into what she's singing. I do believe that anyone who came around would leave convinced that Theodore is the best baby in the whole entired world purely because of Emma's conviction about it. And the fact that she says it over and over and over and over again. 

That's the picture I shall leave you with today. No talk of the past two days shall pass from these lips (or these fingers) because they are worth being forgotten. And if Emma can speak things to be then I can most certainly not speak things gone.  

Friday, February 24, 2012

A handy how NOT to...

'How not to screw up a good thing.'

When you notice that something has or has not occured for a period of time DON'T, I repeat, DON'T speak it. Do not breathe it into existence. I can assure you that whatever it is you speak of will undoubtedly come to be. For example:

My bursitis hasn't flared up in 7 years.


The cat hasn't puked on the carpet for a few days.


I haven't seen a Captain Planet cartoon since I was a kid. (I have to admit that this one would be awesome.)

or, in our most recent case

We've had a nurse every night for the past month and 22 days. 

Now, I don't believe in Karma or jinxing things, but I really find it un-freaking-canny when this happens. If you've read this blog long enough then you'll know this isn't the first time something like this has happened. And you're probably thinking, 'How has she not learned her lesson yet?' I don't know. I wish I had a better answer. I'm either an optimist or really really stupid. But as I'm sure you have picked up on by now, we went without a nurse last night. And of course, I find out she's not coming at 5pm so I had plenty of time to prepare myself. Wait, no, that doesn't seem right... Oh yeah, that's because I found out at 1am!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! And I didn't even find out because they called me, mind you. I had to call them. 

I must stop here to say that it wasn't the nurses fault. She was rear ended on her way to our house. She had to be taken to the ER for xrays and what not. But here's the kicker - even though she had been in this accident, she still called the nursing company to let them know that she obviously wouldn't be in. Their excuse for not calling me - the nurse didn't call the right number. I don't even have the desire to get into whether or not that was actually the case, but let's just say that this isn't the first time communication issues have been to the fault of the company and not the nurse. AND the accident happened at around 11 - so even though we could not have known any earlier in the day to prepare, I still could have known 2 hours earlier than I did and immediately gone to sleep. Rambo usually does his best sleeping in the first half of the night. The second half consists of violent coughing and fussing and rolling around. 

Right now I am running off of caffeine and chocolate. 

So the next time you're tempted to point something out; to bring to life something that could potentially make you miserable if the opposite happened, don't. Don't do it. Remember me and just say no.


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Rambo Bambo

First of all, WHO can move like that?
It hurts just looking at it. Especially the second one. He's literally falling asleep with his foot near his face. Wha???

And now on with the show... IT'S OFFICIAL!!

He is the cutest boy in the entire world! 

I want you to know that I really had an open mind about this. 
I thought, you know, everybody thinks their kid is the cutest; don't get carried away, Amanda.
But after seeing this picture - No, he really IS the cutest. 
Who makes this official?
Me, of course.

And a second one just to prove it!
Now he's just rubbing it in. 
I swear he knew what I was doing with the camera.

Seriously, where does he get that hair? It's ridiculous!

Side story: I took him to the doctors the other day for his infection and when the doctor walked in the room he asked me if he was being seen for his mullet. After I punched the doctor in the face I told him his hair can grow in any way it likes and that he (the doctor) could have an opinion about it after he gets his head shaved 4 times to get an IV. 

Okay, I didn't really say that. He's a good doctor, but I should have - and would have if I had thought of it then. 

So, Rambo is back on a different antibiotic for a week or so. Hopefully this one will actually kick the infection. And his mood is much better. Yay!! *angels (and myself) singing halelujah* His secretions (gross, I know) are still in full force but they will hopefully calm down here soon as well.  

And I just want to point out that we have had a nurse EVERY night since January 1. Have to give credit where it's due. That is the longest stretch we've had of having a nurse every night since we got one back in June. *another segment of rejoicing*

2012, you have been pretty gracious for the first month and 22 days. Please please please keep it up.


Sunday, February 19, 2012

We need a coffin *cough* vacation.

Okay. Enough is enough!! I had an entire post written up on how awful my day has been and how I'm wallowing in self pity. I even had it saved and now it's gone!! I was simply trying to upload a photo of me on the couch. I was going to say 'notice, or rather DON'T notice the lack of makeup, messy hair and the same clothes I've been wearing for the past 3 days.' But nnnnoooooooo. Nothing can be simple! I have to wallow alone and even my wittiness has to go unnoticed :( That's a slap in the face, kick in the pants kinda day if there ever was one.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Heart Art.

This week has gone by fast and slow at the same time. It's been good and bad. Stressful and relaxing. All for no reason in particular. 

Today consisted of this:

It speaks for both Theodore and myself. If I could have sat in a corner and drooled and cried without being thought crazy then I would have. Rambo is not feeling well. I'm not sure if his tracheitis has not gone away or if he has a cold or if something else is going on but OH.MY.GOSH. I can't take it anymore! He was a lovely undertone of dusky blue today; arms, feet, lips, hands... He's done that a few times in the past week or so. He'll suddenly look ill and then before you know it he's rosy again, but today was constant. I even had my neighbor come over and look too so that I knew I wasn't seeing things. Unfortunately I wasn't. So that's awesome worrisome. We changed his trach just incase there was a plug of some sort, but of course that didn't do anything. Except of course, take care of our weekly trach change. 

This is as happy as Rambo has been the past two days:

But at this point, if he's not crying, I'm happy. 

We did take him to the doctors yesterday. We started a steroid and took a trach culture to see if he still has an infection - waiting to get the results from that before we put him on antibiotics. And if those results are clear - well I don't know what we'll do because he definitely isn't looking right. I've never hoped for an infection more. 

So that's that. I keep forgetting how a fussy baby messes up your entire day, but, man, it really messes up your day.

Also, I've added another new feature. Drum roll please------------- There is a button somewhere to your right that will take you directly to my etsy shop. Holler! 50% of the proceeds will go to Rambo's Heart. (Don't get snarky, I'd give it all, but I have to support my painting habit somehow.) And in other big news for Rambo's Heart our Valentine Fundraiser was very successful! Just shy of 200 valentines sold - and that was only to locals! We are still in the process of registering the name and getting bank stuffs all set up. But we are so excited!!! Thank you to everyone who continues to read, support, and pray! 


Sunday, February 12, 2012

B is for....

I'm bored. I actually have nothing to say. I wish I could be creative and funny. Shoot, I'd settle for semi-interesting. I wish I had a semi-interesting, anticlimactic story to tell you. But I don't.

I'm bored.

There's a lot going on around me. In fact, most people around me have something going on. They may not necessarily think it's fun or creative, but it's something. Anything. My something has been watching 'Friends' every night at 11 and setting ring tones on my phone. 

I should probably be satisfied with this. I know I should be. I've felt so lazy this week that I wouldn't know how to handle anything happening. 

I'm tired.

That's what it is. I'm tired and bored. This post is the result of me being tired and bored. I have now drained you of 30 seconds that you can never get back. Just because I'm bored and waiting for my nurse. 

I apologize. But really it's your fault if you read all of this. You should have given up after the first two words. It's all been downhill from there. 

I literally need to stop typing but I just keep going. No one cares anymore, Amanda. Close the computer. Walk away. 

Goodnight to all.  

Thursday, February 9, 2012


Today was spent at Hopkins. All scheduled appointments, no worries. But it had it's ups and downs. Up: I got to spend the day with Ben. Down: Losing Rambo's feeding pump somewhere in the abyss of hospital. Yeah... another story for another day... Anyway, we are finally home (and inside! this is a plus when you lose the apparently ONLY key to your house). So I have decided to turn my mind to the positive. We're going to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. Sing it with me!

Thankful for....

... a husband who drives well and willingly...

... family to watch kids...

... a new doctors new perspective...

... only VISITING the hospital...

...being able to finally eat at Baja Fresh again...

...promises fulfilled. Not always immediately, but ALWAYS...

But as for me I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more.
Psalm 71

Linking up with...
And want a really good reminder?? Check out my girl Sarah here.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Episode 5


1) Why it is so complicated for one doctors office to communicate with another.
2) Why doctors offices don't do what they say the will do.
3) Why, after having talked to the same person at said doctors office 4 times in one week they still act like they have no idea who I am;
3b) and they take all of my information again including the issue at hand that has been discussed now 4 times.

Ugh. Yes, please, I would love to hold the entire world together by myself. Oh, does that mean doing your job too? Why, of course, I don't mind! That's exactly what I want to do. 

That is all I have to say.

Monday, February 6, 2012

As promised...

The long ago mentioned almost forgotten videos of little man are now up. Of course, this was when he started rolling back in November and now he's almost crawling. We're only a little behind. I couldn't upload one of the videos on here for some reason so you can check that one here on you tube.

The other is all ready for you right over here.


Sunday, February 5, 2012


His shirt says it.

The pictures prove it.

I am about to get VERY busy.

That is tummy clearance, people.

As happy as I am about this... 

I'm dreading it just as much.

Must get a fence.

Must contain him.

Must manage the monster.

In other Rambo news: the doctor said there was nothing to be concerned about in the most recent xrays. He currently has a pretty serious trach infection so he is on antibiotics for that. He still has a slight facial rash - not sure what it's from but it appears to be getting better each day. And yes, he just made some forward progress up on his knees. Pray for me. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

Let me be your girlfriend.

Just Rambo with his girlfriend......

He's swooning. Can you blame him? She is pretty cute.

And my favorite picture of the week....

Am I right???? How adorable!

This is why I sometimes call him the grinch - not because of his attitude, but he seriously resembles him sometimes.

And just to steal your heart.....

There are also some new pics of the rest of the crew up under the fam tab.  
Go ahead - check 'em out!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Year of Bounty?

I've had the tilling, the churning, the breaking, the displacing. I've been broken and hurt and unsettled. Raw wounds, new dirt.

Is this the year for the bounty?

  You visit the earth and cause it to overflow;
          You greatly enrich it;
          The stream of God is full of water;
          You prepare their grain, for thus You prepare the earth.
You water its furrows abundantly,
          You settle its ridges,
          You soften it with showers,
          You bless its growth.
You have crowned the year with Your bounty,
          And Your paths drip
with fatness.
The pastures of the wilderness drip,
          And the hills gird themselves with rejoicing.
The meadows are clothed with flocks
          And the valleys are covered with grain;
          They shout for joy, yes, they sing.
Psalm 65:9-13

The settling and smoothing and refining and gentle hand?

You can't have the one without the other. The ground has to be upturned before it can be watered. It has to be prepared for it to yield.

The churning before the settling. 
The tilling before the softening.
The brokenness before the bounty.

Without new wounds there's no new soil. Just old hard dirt. 

My garden is filled with wounds that are deep and raw. A heart changed. A heart ready for the soft waters and the ridges gently settled. A valley covered with grain that maybe doesn't seem like a valley at all.