Monday, March 12, 2012

Here's where I am with all this.

Correction - this is where I was and where I'm trying to be.

This past week at the hospital, I felt like Rambo:


(minus the adorable-ness factor) All tangled up.

Nowhere to go.

I was living inside of this mess that was so clearly where I didn't want to be.

I was trapped in my circumstances.

I was letting the worst get the best of me.

Just in case you didn't get the drift when I told you all a few posts ago that I hated you. (haha)

I was not happy.

It was inconvenient.

It was lonely.

It was bor-ing. Seriously.

Plus I had to eat hospital food - AGAIN. 

My attitude was horrendous. I tried to smile and breathe, and take it all in and be grateful it wasn't a worse situation, but I stunk at it. 

And then....

(I really hate the "And then..." 's)

I was convicted like hitting a brick wall. 
God has this way of working with me that usually consists of me stewing in my mire and muck for a while and then suddenly ending up on my butt.

And it always seems so simple.

The answer is always 'Yes.'

My reluctance is so great when I should be releasing instead.

See, I'm really good at the "Poor me"
and "It's so hard"
and "Not again"
and "Nobody knows"
and "Why"


And I fight the "Yes, Lord."
and "It is well."
and "I'm Yours."

and "Rambo is Yours."

The circumstances, whatever they are, are already God's. I have to let myself be His as well. Or I will end up in this dirty grimy place. Release myself. Ask for His perspective and help. Be like Rambo in those pictures. Don't fight against the tubes that entangle me. Once Theodore is in that position he knows it's not worth fighting against. Actually, he gets surprisingly still and content just waiting (most of the time... he is a baby....)He knows he needs help getting out; that he can't do it on his own. 

Just like Rambo, I can't help the things that trap me but I can choose how I will face them. 

Maybe next time I'll look more like this:

Still caught up, but smiling
and content
and relaxed.
Waiting for my Father to help me.
Letting Him help me.

There will always be excuses, but those don't bring abundant life.
Or peace.

"You are worried and upset about many things, but only One thing is needed." Luke 10:41-42 

You probably noticed the new header at the top. This is the final (hopefully) time. :)
Also, just in case you were wondering, those photos are not posed. Just Rambo in his natural state. 

1 comment:

  1. He is beyond adorable. And Amanda, this is one of my favorite posts thus far. Isn't it cool when God shows you a clear message with parables? Theodore all tangled up but smiling,resting,waiting to be untied goes hand in hand with how God looks at you. Yes, you are his little girl and He clearly has this all taken care of. All He wants you to do is just keep smiling, waiting and resting in Him. Kudos to you!!!!! & thank you for still finding the time to pass a word my way via words with friends, xoxoxxxoxo Aunt Linda