Finally sitting on the couch. Cat, belly up, sleeping next to me. Dog at my feet. The same dog who almost knocked over our very-expensive-couldn't-afford-to-buy-it-again-(couldn't-really-afford-to-buy-it-the-first-time) air purifier. Kids upstairs waiting to be tucked in. Smallest kid hooked up to his vent. Just waiting for the nurse. Feet up for the first time in what feels like 1,029 hours (in the words of Emma). Lights dimming each time the air conditioner kicks in. Almost silence.
Today, oh Today, you persistent demanding thing. You were a pain in the butt at times. I, like many of you, hit the ground running and have not been able to stop until falling dead asleep from exhaustion in a nice comfy cool welcoming bed. Or, in my case, our awkward-for-the-neck couch. I'll take it. Today was the kind of day where you feel pretty accomplished but wonder if it was worth it. A day when you feel on top of everything until mid afternoon and you suddenly hit panic mode because all of your accomplishments have left the house dirtier then when you began and short on time for dinner. But, I suppose, it did leave three freezer bags of homemade pizza sauce and.... I'm sure there is something else lasting that I did....
The kind of day that has left work done that no one will see. Things will unknowingly be taken for granted- things that kids and animals count on. The kind of day, where up until that mid afternoon panic attack, I responded kindly and calmly to my children. The kind of day that leaves me regretting words said and quick responses made.
Today I am thankful that the nurse is running a few minutes late so I can apologize to my kids when I put them in bed. Today makes me thankful for an ever patient Redeemer; makes me thankful for family; makes me thankful for friends and quiche and a million and a half clothes bags to organize. Today makes me want to try again tomorrow. But it also makes me want to sleep until 5pm. Neither good nor bad outweigh the other so there's a balance.
Today had me really wishing the woman in Proverbs 31 didn't have to rise early to get everything done. Can't a sister catch a break??
Here's to tomorrow.
Here's to the same but different.
Here's to sleep.
To duties and play time.
To husbands and kids.
To dogs (....and cats...)
To my Provider, my Portion, my Supply.