Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Let me tell you the benefits of having a husband who works shift work.

There are none.




*The fact that we had no nurse last night and I can barely keep my eyes open may be affecting my view here just a touch. Maybe I'm being a bit more cynical than I usually would be. Maybe not. Our nurse, unfortunately had car trouble and couldn't make it. Not her fault, it just figures.

I forgot what it was like to have to stay up. It's been several months since we've encountered that problem (THANKFULLY) and maybe I've gotten a bit.... pampered... maybe. And quite honestly it is much simpler taking care of Theodore throughout the night now than it ever has been before. And if he hadn't woken up at 5:45am I would probably be singing a different tune. 

But he didn't. So I'm not.

And for those of you weirdos who are usually up at 5:45 I ask you this: Why? WHY??? I understand that there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, but seriously, just leave those things undone. They WILL be there tomorrow- I promise you. It's insanity to get up earlier to accomplish more. People, please!!! Or maybe if you're up that early you get to bed before midnight or so.. that may be the key..... Or maybe it's just the fact that you aren't getting up several times a night; or 'sleeping' on a couch; or you don't have a cat mewing loudly at you or attacking the edge of the rug in the wee hours. Or, I suppose, that it could be that you just don't mind????

Anyway, it's all craziness to me. I don't want to see anything before 7:50am at the earliest. So getting up at 2am and 3am and 6am and 7am is just unheard of. I should remember what it's like to have a newborn but apparently I pushed all those horrendous memories from my mind. Truth be told, Theodore IS sleeping through the night and doesn't usually have coughing fits anymore. So the only thing I'm getting up for are his routine feedings. 

So what does this have to do with Ben's schedule? To be honest, I'm not sure where I was going with that. I've had 4 cups of coffee today and still can't think straight. I think it had something to do with the fact that because of his schedule I am always the one who gets stuck doing the nighttime nursing thing. 

It has to be the vernal equinox occuring with a solar AND lunar eclipse plus an orc sneezing in Mordor simultaneously for Ben to be home and available when a nurse cancels. He either has to sleep so he can be up like all you other weirdos super early to work or he is working and won't be home. 

That's fine. I am extremely thankful Ben not only has a job, but is willing to work those crazy shifts to support us. 

By the way, next time you see a cop, try thanking them for the work they do. It's not only him/her making the sacrifice, but their spouses, and children as well. And it could quite possibly be the ultimate sacrifice one day.

Again, I've lost my train of thought. Ah, yes, cat killing. 

I want to murder our cats. Like seriously murder them. If it's not one who decides to sleep in our room and wake me up at 3:38am to get out then it's another one walking around downstairs mewing as loudly as I've ever heard an animal mew at 5am. Or one of them stirring up the dog just because. So my plan is to kill them quietly. Make it appear as though it was a natural death so Ben doesn't kill me. A bullet to the face would be pretty discreet, right??

And on that note, I'm out of here. I haven't decided whether I'll get another cup of coffee or hey, look here, sit on the couch mindlessly and wait for the newest episode of Duck Dynasty to come on, Jack.

*And for anyone who is into Lord of the Rings, I know nothing about it. The extent of my knowledge includes the words: Frodo, orcs, Sam Wise, and Mordor. Also, I think Hidalgo is in there somewhere.... I have no idea if orcs and Mordor go together, nor do I honestly care. So if my earlier reference made no sense, that is why. To you I say "YOU SHALL NOT PASS, my 'precious' hobbits who eat a lot." Shire!

I clearly need sleep.   


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