Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Purposeless.

This morning was pretty momentous. Hang onto your hats, folks, because I got to go to the store by myself. As soon as Theodore was on the bus I rode like a boss in my minivan to Walmart listening to whatever I wanted on the radio as loud as I wanted. And here is the really sad part..... I actually felt like I had a purpose. I had reason to wake up and get dressed. My life had meaning because my chickens and cats needed more food. Also, I was out of coffee. 

My life literally has no purpose. Why get up and get dressed and ready for the day when you go DAAAAAAAAYS without leaving your house? And why leave your house when it takes so much effort to? Sure, you can do it and it'll last for a week or a month or, tops, 3 months, until you realize.... IT DOESN'T MATTER. The world doesn't know or care. Sure, I can make elaborate birthday parties that my children want "more than anything in the world", but to what end? It is forgotten the next day. I'm not kidding- the. next. day. All that time and effort (I'd say money, but who am I kidding... everything is from scratch here) for a blink of the eye. I clean up, I break up fights, I make food, I clean up again, I teach, I reteach, I discipline, I re-reteach, I clean some more, I go to bed. 
And I know what you're thinking - "But nobody else can do your job." Except, here's the thing. People ARE doing my job. A million, maybe a billion times over every day. Every single mom is doing my job. 

It is the most common job in the world.

Tell me that's not a depressing thought. 

It is really sad when the highlight of, quite possibly months is going to Walmart and Tractor Supply at 8am. I mean, they aren't even fun stores. Are you telling me that my purpose in life is to be ignored, underappreciated, and used by the people I'm supposed to be pouring my heart and soul into? And that's it? I don't even get some "me" time or a job where I might actually accomplish something? (Because, let's be honest, raising children never actually accomplishes anything. You face today the same exact things you are going to face tomorrow x 365 x forever  until they move out.) I mean, it'd be laughable if it wasn't so stupid. 

Well, obviously, I'm having a super awesome day and can't wait to step back on the mommy train. Kudos to you moms who have something else to step into even if just for a little while, be it an outside of the house job or outside of the house hobby or gym membership or whatever. Good for you. I mean it. 



    

Friday, October 2, 2015

Revamp.


We are revamping our old drafty farmhouse. Nothing major, just some small budget improvements and updates while keeping its charm and character. And I'm loving it. I totally am. 

Only............ my love is starting to run thin. I'm about 80 degrees beyond ever wanting to see trim again. (I don't even know if that saying means anything but it felt kind of right. Until it came out and then it seemed like it maybe didn't make any sense. I'm still leaving it.) It took 4-5 coats of paint in our bedroom. FOUR TO FIVE. That's a lot of paint on a lot of trim. But, thankfully I can say that our bedroom and bathroom are complete. 

Then for some reason I decided to move onto the entrance way and paint the door and ceiling and then have to repaint the ceiling back to the original white because I didn't like it painted the door color. But that's okay because now that is done too. (Even though our idiot dog has already scratched it.)

Now, I am so far into kitchen cabinets I can't see the light of day. It took me DAAAAAYS just to pick a cabinet color. (I went with 'horseradish', by the way, which definitely looks as cute as it sounds.) But painting is never as simple as it seems with the hinges and the screws and the drop cloths and the clean up. And then there's the putting all the doors back on and picking out knobs and drilling the holes for the knobs and having to buy extra long screws for the extra thick drawers because, of course, the package of knobs you chose only have the short screws. 

I have 6 cabinets left. The end is insight. If I can just keep motivated until then. The new kitchen floor my husband put down is definitely helping with the motivation. I can see the victory. We. Are. So. Close. 

And, finally, and also simultaneously, I have pulled up half the carpet in our living room/dining room revealing the original hardwood. WOOHOO. And by "woohoo" I mean "woohoo" for the end of that project because it was one of the dirtiest things I've ever done. Also, carpet is heavy. 

We plan to paint the floor and those awful cedar plank walls. (Or pine... whatever they are. Terrible is what they are. 80 degrees of terrible.) Hopefully we'll end up with a relaxed, beach sort of feel. That's what we're going for anyway instead of the current 1990 builders grade 'charm' that's going on.

And when we're finished I promise to make an effort to put up some pictures of our hard work. Because I know you all care. And in the meantime, take some time to revamp something in your life. A room, a chair, your spice cabinet...... It'll feel good. I promise!