Monday, August 13, 2018

Worst nightmare.

I faced my worst nightmare the other day, guys.

The make-up aisle.

It is the closest thing to hell that my mind can conjure up currently.

I don't know how many of you get paralyzed by excessive choices, but I DO. When I walk into a restaurant for a nice dinner out and they hand me a menu that's really 4 volumes of a freaking World Book Encyclopedia put into one, I go blank. Instant overload. I'm all


I'm not quite sure how to cure that or if it's even possible. All I know is that usually I end up eating whatever Ben has ordered for me. 

But, this time, in the make-up section I was alone. ALONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Did you see the picture???? And that's just ONE of the aisles! Multiple aisles, guys. Multiple. Aisles. Encyclopedia-kind-of-full aisles to choose from. 

*hides head in shame* It took me 45 minutes to pick out a foundation. And all the while I'm coaching myself, "Okay, you can do this. Just breathe. One thing at a time. Don't even look over there." And, let me tell you, that coaching was not happening in my head. Oh no, right out loud. Right in between vol 6 and vol 7 of ALL THE  COLORS between classic ivory and buff beige foundation. 

*whispers* So many colors.

I feel my anxiety rising just thinking about it. I'm truly praying that before I need to buy make-up again a big bag of it appears on my doorstep from some God-sent angel. 

And to make matters worse, I had to choose one of those million colors without a mirror. Let me say that again. I was tasked with choosing the exact color, the only one, the PERFECT one to match my skin tone without a mirror. No pressure, right. If I can't pick what I want to eat for dinner one night how in the name of Kronk am I going to pick out the foundation color I wear on my face every day?!?! Who thinks of this stuff??? Once my tunnel vision semi-cleared enough to hopefully have chosen wisely, I grabbed the first mascara I saw under $10 and ran.

I didn't even get the few other things I needed. One more minute and I would have been on the floor in the fetal position. If not for the choice overload, for the pure shock of prices. I just want to wear a little make-up, I'm not a freaking billionaire! 

So, here's to you weird people who handle choices like it ain't a thang. And to those of us who don't, I'll understand if I see you pulling a Kronk somewhere. It's okay.  

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